Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Story That Won’t Go Away
Crystal Mangum, the woman who once accused three Duke University student-athletes of rape, was charged Monday with murder, North Carolina law-enforcement officials said. Mangum is accused of stabbing her boyfriend, Reginald Daye, to death during an argument. Police said Mangum stabbed the 46-year-old man in the torso during an argument on April 3, and officials also charged Mangum with two felony counts of larceny. Mangum made national headlines in 2006 when she accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape while she performed as a stripper at a team party—dividing the community. The attorney general’s office later found no evidence of an attack, but the scandal caused the team’s coach to resign and the Durham County district attorney to be disbarred.
Monday, April 18, 2011
ALERTS TO YEAR 2011: THREATS IN EUROPE
by John Cleese
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Now You’re Talking
If you've got an Android phone, try this: Hit the microphone icon on the home screen, then ask, "How many angstroms in a mile?" Use your normal speaking voice—don't speak slowly or strain to over-pronounce "angstrom." So long as you have a good Internet connection, the phone shouldn't take more than a second to recognize your question and shoot back a reply: 1.609344 × 1013.
This works with all kinds of queries. Say "what's 10 times 10 divided by 5 billion" and the phone will do math for you. Say "directions to McDonald's" or read out an address—even a vague one like "33rd and Sixth, NYC"—and Android will pull up a map showing where you want to go. It works for other languages, too: Android's Translate app (also available for the iPhone) will not only convert your English into spoken French (among several other languages) but also has a "conversation mode" that will translate the French waiter's response back into English. And if that's not enough, Android lets you dictate your e-mail and text messages, too.
If you've tried speech-recognition software in the past, you may be skeptical of Android's capabilities. Older speech software required you to talk in a stilted manner, and it was so prone to error that it was usually easier just to give up and type. Today's top-of-the-line systems—like software made by Dragon—don't ask you to talk funny, but they tend to be slow and use up a lot of your computer's power when deciphering your words. Google's system, on the other hand, offloads its processing to the Internet cloud. Everything you say to Android goes back to Google's data centers, where powerful servers apply statistical modeling to determine what you're saying. The process is fast, can be done from anywhere, and is uncannily accurate. You can speak normally (though if you want punctuation in your email, you've got to say "period" and "comma"), you can speak for as long as you'd like, and you can use the biggest words you can think of. It even works if you've got an accent.